New Orleans is definitely a thing. Like a thing you can do. Maybe even a thing you should do. I don't know. I'm only willing to go so far...

He came into our lives as all good things do - in the midst of being evicted from the first floor apartment he shared with a woman I...

Dear Fingerhut, I received your catalog recently. I need to get with you on this Sunbeam 2-slice toaster. Item #P4937. I'm not calling...

My 8th grade English teacher holds out a pair of wooden swords. They have black handles and grey painted blades the approximate...

Best Birthday Party | Black Plague Division: January 12, 2013, 32nd birthday Friend, urban farmer, and living inspiration Lawrence Taylor...

I'm writing about this because it troubled me. It troubled me then and now, hours later, it continues to trouble me. It more than...

Heather wore square, puffy sweaters in primary colors. They made her shoulders look broad and her neck skinny. She had braces and the...

I have never cared about cars. They do not interest me. They never have. An ex-girlfriend once asked me what car I would buy if money...

I've been to Disney World a lot. Like a lot, a lot. Enough times, at least, to be having a hard time coming up with an accurate count...

My nephew Jack is holding up a piece of donkey poop triumphantly. “No thanks,” I say. “I’m good.” He tosses the donkey poop aside and...

I've always considered my life to be the normal amount of shit. I've rarely looked at another human being and thought "Their life is so...

All on-ramps and off-ramps ascend and descend to some level, but there is a ramp off Westheimer, leading up to the 610, heading north,...

I didn’t even have a resume. What exactly would I have put on it? High school attendee…no criminal record… reasonably high score on...

There are two young girls riding bikes in a circle on the patch of road just beyond my parent’s driveway. I don’t pay them much mind as...

The Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) arrived in North America in 1985. Children who grew up during this time were immediately warped...

I’ve constructed fantasy children in my head three times in my life, with three different partners. Each time the focus of the exercise...

There’s a severed squirrel tail in the parking lot at work. I’ve seen it while walking on my break twice a day for a week now. I don’t...

Last year I stood in the living room of my sister’s house on Christmas morning while my nephew showed me a plate of half-eaten cookies...